Joy Journal

Today  I am posting about joy.  For those of you who know me you have already heard this.  You can skip this.  For those of you who haven't I guess you can skip too.

I have two kids ages 4 and 1.  After I had #2 I had a case of the blues, post partum depression, I have 2 kids, I am too busy and so on and so forth.  Well at the beginning of this year (my baby is really almost 2) I decided that I needed to get over it and move on.  I had kind of decided that I really wasn't enjoying life as a mother or even as a me.  The kids were stressing me out, lots of bawling, remodeling the house, you name it.  Everyone kept telling me that it will get better, but in my mind it never would.  So when I decided to get over it, I needed something to focus my time on and a whole lot of other things.  I started this blog, I decided I needed to spend some time on my hobbies (if I remembered what they were) and start to enjoy life.  I started a joy journal.

You can use anything for your joy journal.  You can make your own notebook, use a tablet, type it on a blog, your own personal journal, use pictures if that what you like.  I use a notebook I got at Michael's for a buck.

At the start of this i would write everyday or every few days.  The more I wrote the easier it was to see the joy everyday, in the kids, the hubs, it is really everywhere we just need to look for it.  It won't find you, you have to find it.  Anyway,  they were just simple things like laughter, smiles, loving family.  They were things I don't always notice and that I have come to take for granted.  Go for it, try it and make your own joy journal and see if it changes your outlook.

The Happiness Project Book by Gretchen Rubin, talks about this.  It is a good book by the way.  For me, by doing this little things has made me realize I love being a mom, having fun with the kids, and that is did get better and continues to in different ways.

Here is a little thought shared by yours truly for a post Mother's day thought.

We become mothers for a variety of reasons I guess. Sometimes as I go throughout my day and have a zillion things go wrong or worse think I am crazy, I wonder why I signed up for this thing called motherhood.

You find out you are pregnant and you and your husband are elated. It is exciting to have a baby. The moment you first feel it kick or that you find out if you are having a boy or girl. What is there not to be excited about. Nothing. You didn't think about how the baby was actually going to get out of the womb and then nobody tells you anything about the after effects of having the baby. You know what I am talking about, the weight gain, trying to shed the weight gain, breastfeeding, getting no sleep, trying to figure out if the baby is hungry or just exactly why it is crying and don't even let me get started on the hormone changes your body decides to go through at this time too. It is pure bliss.

As months go by you think you have the hang of this baby thing. You pride yourself on being able to get 6 hours of sleep or even better go throughout the day with less sleep and try not to be too ornery. That is just when it begins. No one tells you will become the person that takes away their bottle, their precious and most loved binky, their blanket if they happen to have one, change them from a crib to a bed, and yes potty train them. The bottle, I could do. It seemed to be a fairly easy transition to deal with, even the bed wasn't that bad, the binky on the other hand it is a little bit harder. They get so attached to it. It is the equivalent to mountain dew for some people or perhaps a cigarette for others. I mean, we all have our vices, we just don't realize what they are to us until we have to give them up.

I decided to potty train today so we left somewhere and came back and took a nap and after that we put panties on which was about 4pm. Well, at 8 pm we had already gone through 4 additional pairs of panties and it doesn't seems to phase her too much. I have kept my patience though. Tomorrow is another day and we will start again. Motherhood.

So anyway, my point in all of this is that we didn't sign up for all of these other things that we have to do along the way. But at the end of the day, I get to look at the most beautiful thing as I put her to bed 2 hours late because she won't stay in bed. And the minute they hand you your newborn baby in the hospital that moment is a moment you will never forget how you felt. Just like Heavenly Father said, I never said it would be easy, it will be worth. Jesus Christ gave his life for us and it was worth it to him to make that sacrifice for me. Motherhood may not be easy, but is always worth it. It is so pleasing to me every time my daughter does something that I know I have taught her or when she turns around and has two binkies stuffed in her mouth, or when she really does want to hold your hand to walk across the street, or when she says please and thank you. Even though several times a day I think it will just be a few more days before they admit me to the nut house I become a mother because that is my divine role, because these are the moments that I have waited for, and because I love it.

Happy Mother's Day